March 19, 2019

It seems like we’re always talking about the actual act of dating: what to do on first dates, how to keep the spark alive in LTRs, etc. But – sometimes – getting to the date is actually the hardest part.

Who can’t relate to the near-crippling fear of setting up your LGBTQutie profile? The nerve racking moment when it goes live? Or that blank slate that becomes your brain when trying to message the qutie you’re hoping to match with? Stress not, bbs, we’re here to help. Read on for our tips on perfecting your profile, magnetizing your messaging, and picking the perfect pic.

Profile 101:

Be approachable. Yes, the goal is to sound cool, interesting, and datable (obvi), but tow the “cool” line carefully. It’s a thin divide between “he sounds awesome!” and “I’m not cool enough to talk to him.”

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Be honest. If you’ve never liked The L Word or find Looking to be more boring than baseball, that’s ok! You’re not a bad gay, and it’s super important to be yourself. On the flip side, it’s equally important to remember the difference between honesty and brutal truth. This is not the place to talk about things you dislike, negative experiences, or exes. Especially exes.

Spell check. Don’t be that person who uses “their” when it should be “there.” In fact, it never hurts to have a friend read over your profile before you post it. “They’ll make sure you sound quirky, not crazy,” says one of our app users.

Photos:

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Hate your ears? Insecure about your nose/waistline/shoulders – doesn’t matter. Post photos that show what you look like because people just aren’t going to message you if they don’t. And that person wearing sunglasses and a hat in every photo could be anyone, including a creepy serial killer. You’re real, look real. Just because you think your nose is too big doesn’t mean the boy/boi checking out your profile will.

Messaging People:

…Can be scary, because an unanswered message can (and usually does) feel like rejection. Fear is a very real part of dating, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put yourself out there. As Hellen Keller said, life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. So don’t let that fear get in the way of making the first move. If you think someone’s attractive – and they sound like someone you’d like to know – message him/her/them.

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BuzzFeed does a good job breaking down the hetero-esque dos and don’ts, but stick to these simple

  1. Say more than “hey,” and less than a life story. Somewhere between two to ten sentences.
  2. Maybe don’t lead with “You’re hot.” Lez face it, you only message people you find attractive so that’s already a given. Try to say something a bit more insightful
  3. Send it, and leave it ‘til you get a response.

Stop worrying Quties – you’ve got this!